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FLAWED
Writing by Kali Jones
My Poems and Songs

Email me any comments
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POEMS

The Break Up/My Ex was an international
poetry contest semi-finalist and published in
"Eternal Portraits" and some poetry book in the U.K.. This has also been made into a song.




You Told Me So: This poem was a great
release for me. It got a lot of things off my
back=).




Clouded: This poem was about someone who
has so much to offer, so much talent, and so
much intelligence, but he let drugs get in
the way.




There Is A Stranger Haunting Me: Did you
ever think that you knew somebody better
than you know yourself and then you find out
you really never knew that person at all and
you can't stop thinking about it? Well,
obviously I did.




Boiling Point: I wrote this poem during a hard
time in my life. Everytime I would try to talk
to people about it they would tell me that it's
ok and getting over it is so easy if I just
accept it and move on. The same people telling
me this were the ones that aren't doing
anything with their lives and lost sight of the
dreams they once had because they came to
the conclusion that life sucks. I guess I just got
really tired of hearing that.


I Hurt To Know: This is about wanting someone to look at you and find the same passion and beauty that you see in them.


You Taught Me How To Feel: You never really know what pain is until you can overcome it and learn from it. It makes a person human to be able to feel and hurt and I appreciate that someone could teach me that and make me a stronger and wiser person because of it. Be thankful that your life isn't all sunshine. Sunshine is shallow in that it can only reach certain places when so much of the world is shaded and you have to seek depth to have a full experience.


A Cold Future: Some people just give up caring for anything but themselves. They become close-minded and fake. All the lies, deception, and betrayal are becoming a disease that corrupts everyone and brings on hate that eventually turns people completely numb.

THE BREAK UP/MY EX

Painful, Tough, Slow
Emotional
Breaking hearts into a rude reality
On top of buried truth's that may never be revealed
Crying tears for an end you knew would someday come
Drowning out the aching memories, making room for new
THE BREAK UP
Articulate, Passionate, Depressed
Fearful
Building a pile of lies to protect what he thinks is right
Until it spills the truth into my hands
Listening to the pendulum rock as if mocking his time wasted
Tasting a future he can't remember ordering
MY EX


YOU TOLD ME SO

I am dramatic and like to exaggerate
I am acting stupid
I am being a bitch
I need mental help

My hair looked better longer
My skin is too pale
Now it doesn't look smooth
My eyebrows aren't even sexy
My breasts would look better plastic
Then I would look thinner as well

The girls are just friends
You only cheated once
I should be over it now
You don't need this shit
I make you feel like shit
You can do whatever you want

I can wait in the car
We can heat the dinner I cooked later
After all, it is your birthday
You can go out to the bar
I will just go home
It's ok that you weren't listening
You have a lot on your mind

I can clean your room
And I can give you a ride
After all, you are on crutches
I can go pick that up for you
I mean you are on house arrest

It's ok for you to flirt
It makes everyone feel better
It is ok for you to "smell the food"
You will end up "eating at home" anyways

I can pay for the movies
You have pot to buy
I will let you pick them out
I have bad taste in movies

You can stare at her chest
After all, she is my best friend
Yes, I know that girl is gorgeous
She caught my eye too
I didn't do it right
I will try harder next time
I am sorry I am not like them
I should try to improve

I know that crying won't help
It really isn't a big deal
Why should you care how I feel?

Sometimes I wonder why you are with me at all
I mean a girl with no confidence isn't sexy
You told me so

CLOUDED

Articulate
Passionate
Dark
Depressed
So full of potential and yet so loveless
Don't let your life be consumed in smoke
You treat your intelligence as nothing but a joke
I saw through it all
I felt a part of you worth feeling
Perhaps I was blind
Mind manipulated by a fantasy
My heart never lied
I felt the part of you that died

I can still feel you
But not the way I want to
I miss you
But not the way I want to
Articulate
Passionate
Dark
Depressed
So full of potential and yet so loveless

Open your eyes
And put out the flame
You have what some would die to obtain
Take advantage
Lead the life you once dreamt
Make yourself proud
At least make an attempt

I can still feel you
But not the way I used to
I miss the old you
Make me feel the way I used to
Articulate
Passionate
Dark
Depressed
So full of potential and yet so loveless

If you need a light
Take the one from my chest
Let the love from my heart
Be the source of your high
And awake to find the part of you that died

THERE IS A STRANGER HAUNTING ME

There is a stranger haunting me
In my dreams at night
I can't force myself to wake
Scratching my thoughts at first light
I wish he would leave me be
So I could indulge in sanity
After all these years
I am left fighting pain and tears

He said he loved me
That I was his everything
I believed him
I guess I liked the way that seemed
I loved him more than I should have allowed
He was an artist
He covered the truth by painting a cloud

I thought I knew him inside and out
I felt it in his kiss
But there was another side of him
I was destined to miss
The side lost in confusion
The side trapped in depression
The side that can't escape himself
Left without a voice and crying for help

Rumors began to take flight
Raining bombs over me
My ego lost daylight
He is twenty-three
And they are younger than me
How can that be
If I'm only eighteen

So maybe I'm not as small and not as cute
But since when is experience and knowledge
An undesirable attribute
You've lost me
I don't even know you

There is a stranger haunting me
In my dreams at night
I can't force myself to wake
Scratching my thoughts at first light
I wish he would leave me be
So I could indulge in sanity
After all these years
I am left fighting pain and tears

BOILING POINT

I've finally reached my boiling point
While I am crying and screaming
The world is smoking a joint
The same world telling me it's so easy
Happiness is all in your head
Life is what you make of it
And I am pathetic for complaining instead

Easy for a world that has lost sight of their dreams
Settling for anything they can reach out and touch
Without moving from their lazy boy and the MGD they clutch
That would be asking too much

So far in my life
Little has seemed to work out
But I'm not taking advice
From a world that claims suffering is what life is all about

Quote your bible, light your candles, and get down on one knee
Pray for me
But I don't buy it, nothing makes sense, don't you see
Lie and cheat
Then go off to confess
BAM! You're forgiven, your sins are put to rest

Everyone I am close to
The ones I look up to
Start dropping off like flies
Everyone I love and trust
Starts to fill my life with lies

Hard to trust anybody anymore
Makes me wish everyone would suffer some
At least those who are selfish, hollow, and numb

So don't tell me it's easy
FUCK YOU
You don't know what I'm feeling


 

I HURT TO KNOW

I hurt to know

Fallen to one knee

I secretly whisper for a truth to prayer and proof of granted desires

It doesn't  hurt to hope for one sincere kiss meant only for me

But it hurts to not receive and be left to wonder what if

A chance for one moment in his eyes

For one pleasant thought in his head

For one cause for one smile

I hurt to know what if

And if--then when

If when--then will

Will I be presented with another chance for hope

To hurt to know again

 

You Taught Me To Feel

I melted into the overflowing caress of emotion
and was seduced by possibility, leaving a reality behind to be mourned in my passing shadow
Hope and imagination are far more attractive in that they allow me to draw from an alluring creativity
An articulate mind is beauty, shaded by passion in its most youthful of years
Whether I felt your cold, sharp metal cut through my skin and insist in the assault of my soul, or whether you showered my heart with the guilty essence of your lips, aware that I knew all purity was lost, I invited it all
Not to discriminate is not to fear pain nor pleasure
Although your lesson was presented wrapped flawlessly in lies, I don't hate you
I love you
You showed me beauty and introduced me to pain and its misleading impression which truly holds a striking elegance--and for that I am comforted from fear of rejection
I welcome it
For my heart is now fluently versed in the philosophy of emotion
You taught me how to feel

 

A Cold Future

Passion drained

All dreams contained

Love is lost

Trust will cost

Hope expired

Pain admired

Blood turned blue

The cold condemned you

A tear will grant you one more year

A smile every 1,000th mile

What is the word coming to?

Cover yourself or suffer the flu


 

SONGS

These are some songs I have written, mainly inspired by my poems.

 

 

 


STANDARDS
(Verse 1)
I wonder if I'll ever measure up
What should I be if I can't be good enough?
Will standards ever stop haunting me?
Who the hell am I if I can't make you happy?

(Chorus)
I tired so hard

To be the one that you adored, that you adored

(Verse 2)
A battle of emotions
Gnawing at my core
I don't understand why you need something more
I can feel my ego developing a sore
And I am beginning to wonder who I am fighting with
MORE AND MORE

(Chorus)

(Guitar Solo)

(repeat verse 1)

(chorus)

TAKE ME AWAY

(Verse 1)
Escape to my imagination
I can always rely
Hypnotized by the sparkling
Black hole in the sky
Breathe in, Breathe out
Forget everything that he's about
Breathe in, Breathe out....

(Chorus)
Take me away
From this world for a little while
Take me away
This reality is killing me
Take me away
I don't want to think, don't want to feel
Show me something otherworldy, surreal

(Verse 2)
Make me numb to all his words and practices
Make me numb so I can't feel the tears burn my skin
Make me numb before I overload
My heart is on the line, hanging by a thread of hope

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)
Funny, how everything is state of mind
In my head I feel the winds begin to stir
Mixing up everything I feel into one big pot of lies
I am my own worst enemy sometimes

(Chorus)


PART OF YOU 

(Long Intro)

(Verse 1)
Standing on the edge at 800ft high
Looking out over her enitre life
The chopper is buzzing above her head
I can't imagine what I would have said
(And while the wind may dry the tears from her eyes
It's stirring up all the emotion inside
Making it harder and harder to survive
Contemplating the real worth of her life) *Optional addition*

(Chorus)
BUT I SAW A PART OF YOU
THAT I SO DESIRED TO LIVE THROUGH

(Verse 2)
And I'll never forgive them for what they put you through
They bore you into a hell
They don't deserve a daughter like you
And I read the article over and over again
Did you really mean to let go?
The truth is lost, I'll never know!

(Chorus)

(Guitar Solo)

*(Slow/Soft)
Your beauty is something that can't be defined
But neither is all the pain you endured in such a short time
But I can still hear you singing
About love and lessons you've learned so far
Then I see what deception it has caused you
And I am not sure that is something I want to go through
I miss you...
I miss you...* All optional addition

(Chorus)

And now maybe you can live through me
Like I used to live through you

MORE THAN JUST A LOOK
Underneath is dark long hair are virgin eyes of pure poetry
I catch a glimpse
And I love the way they look at me with curiosity
A desire to know and understand
Eyes of compassion that lend out a hand


(Chorus) Because it was More than just a look (2x)


When our glances meet
Mystery dances around possibility
Ever so gently teasing me
My heart will race
My temperature rise
I long for the passion that sets in his eyes
(Inviting me to visit himself
Share a single moment greater than a lifetime of wealth) *optional addition 


(Chorus) (4x)


So I am left alone to fantasize
That he is there to save me
He is there to set me free
(Assuming that a single look can describe a real person's real side
Because I believe in his look his eyes have said more
Than just some random guy looking to score) *optional addition

(Chorus) (2x)

(Repeat Verse 1)

MY GOODBYE

I could taste the herbs on your lips

And I would trace the calluses on your fingertips

Stare into the smoke glazed over your green eyes

You were my favorite, my sadest goodbye

My parents didn’t like you

My friends weren’t impressed

You were a skater

And an artist at best

Strong feelings on politics and you love to get high

You were my favorite, my sadest goodbye

Chours- So Goodbye, MY goodbye(4x)

We would waste away the day flipping channels in the dark

We would laugh and we would fight, sleep into the afternoon sunlight

And you knew exactly what to say to make me cry

You were my favorite, my sadest goodbye

Chorus

PERFUME AND CIGARETTES (part 1 of 2)

(intro)

Monday morning comes and she’s off to class

Fights her eyelids while the books kick her ass

She’s daydreaming

She’s not listening

(verse1)

She’s a waitress in a bar working till 2am

In a mini skirt and a tight shirt she’s got drunk old men

Walking on broken glass, the guys are grabbing her ass

But she just smiles and laughs, she just smiles and laughs

(Chorus)

Can’t wait till she is home

Where it’s silent and she’s alone

Candles burning, thoughts are turning

She’ll get what she gets

A life beyond perfume and cigarettes

(verse2)

The second, the second hand smoke

The image is a joke

The beer stains

The headache remains

And every night another cheesy line

“How much money to make you mine?”

“I’ll take you to Vegas”

“I’ll make you famous”

(Chorus)

(soft-repeat verse 2 part one)

(Chorus)

MINI SKIRTS AND TENNIS SHOES (part 2 of 2)

(verse 1) This might just be her favorite place

To get away

Where she can dream and just let go

Of everything

(Bridge) Maybe it’s the lights

Maybe it’s the crowd

Don’t have to think cuz it’s too loud

Maybe it’s the lights

Maybe it’s the crowd

Sweat and bruises when she looks around

(Chorus)

Mini skirts and tennis shoes

And Faux Hawks and color tattoos (4x)

She says this is home

Tonight

In the concert spotlight

(verse 2) She wanted to fit in, she tried so hard

But she didn’t look the part

No piercings, short dark hair

Or body art

But her heart is pounding to the beat

It’s in her blood singing freely

Her hair whipping thru the air

Her lyrics write don’t judge me

(she says) Maybe it’s the lights

Maybe it’s the crowd

Don’t have to think cuz its too loud

Maybe it’s the lights

Maybe it’s the crowd

Sweat and bruises when she looks around

(Chorus)

Mini skirts and tennis shoes

And faux hawks and color tattoos (4x)

She says this is home

Tonight

In the concert twilight

(verse 1 repeated) This might just be her favorite place

To get away

Where she can dream and just let go

Of everything

(she says) Maybe it’s the lights

Maybe it’s the crowd

Don’t have to think cuz its too loud

Maybe it’s the lights

Maybe it’s the crowd

Sweat and bruises when she looks around

(Chorus 4x)

She says this is home

Tonight

In this concert spotlight

She says this is home

Tonight

In this concert twilight

She is home

 

 

 

 

 





 


 


sistajones15@hotmail.com